Simpsons Porn Story: Rat Race Simpsons Style Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine:Malibu Stacy Museum
The
Simpsons are now in the Malibu Stacy Museum, but it isn’t what they
thought it was. They follow a tour guide through the musuem. “Stacy.
Often times called Malibu Stacy.” The goth looking tour guide
says plainly. “Famous for the slaughter of the Malibians.”
The second tour guide leans over and whispers into the other’s ear.
“Sorry. The people of Malibu. Let the people talk about his
so-called crimes against humanity.” The Simpsons stand in shock
at what they are hearing. Lisa looks like she’s about to cry. Bart is
the only one who seems to be enjoying this. “This museum is
dedicated to the Stacy that no one knew.”
The
second tour guide takes over. “The husband, the father, and the
ballroom dancer.” Homer whips his head in the direction of the
tour guide quickly.
Kang
and Kodos, now being back on the road, are catching up quickly to
some of the others. Kang spots Homer’s car. “Look Kodos, I
believe that is the round ones car!” He points a tentacle to the
pink car.
“How
do you propose we slow him down?” Kodos asks.
“Leave
that to me…”
Back
in the museum, Homer and family have had all they can take. They
slowly start to back away. “…Stacy joined the SS early in his
life.” The second tour guide said, finishing his part of the
tour. The first tour guide comes back.
“And
now if you follow me, you’ll see Hitler’s car.” The tour guides
see the Simpsons leaving. “You’re leaving?”
“Ummm…”
Homer turns and faces them. “Well, you see, we, uh…have
a…a…” He stutters.
“A
book burning to go to!” Bart says.
“Yeah!
And then we have to go to Christining for one of our friends. Our
non-Jewish friends.” Homer says quickly, trying to make the lie
better.
“One
of our relatives, actually.” Marge says pushing the kids out the
door. Bart tries to get back in. He obviously wants to see Hitler’s
car again.
“The
Dooffen-Shmirtzen-Van…uh, gotta go!!” Homer runs out the
door. He runs back in. “yoink!!” He takes a souvenir and
runs back out. Homer gets in the car and tries to start it. It
doesn’t start. “What the?” He gets out and opens the hood.
“We’ve been sabotaged! Yah!!” He kicks the car and screams
in pain. He falls to the ground, clutching his foot in pain.
Nelson
rides by “Haw-haw!!”
“What
do we do now?” Lisa asks.
Kang
and Kodos are still driving, but now are lost. “Good work
disabling the round ones motor vehicle.” Kodos says.
“Thank
you.” Kang throws some of parts of Homer’s car out the window.
“Now, I say we take the interstate.” He puts the map away.
Kodos
responds. “No, we should progress on Highway number twelve. It
is a shortcut.”
“But
it could be a road made of dirt for all we know!”
“Okay,
then mister-smart-alien! Since there are two of us, why don’t we
separate?”
“Genius!
You steal a human’s mode of transportation and we both make our way
to Shelbyville.”
“Yes…and
double the chances of entering Shelbyville first!” They laugh
for a few seconds. “Yes, you take the–” Kodos holds up the
key. “Wait…there is only one key!” They look at the key,
thinking.
Patty
and Selma have found the Totem Pole Ranch. “Look!” Patty
points to the Totem Pole Ranch sign with her cigarette.
“Totem
Pole Ranch! Good going cat lady.” They turn left.
The
Simpsons are back on the road, but with one little difference. They
are in Hitler’s car. “Dad! I can’t believe you stole Hitler’s
car!” Bart says feeling the seats of the car.
“Yeah,
well, Hitler had it coming to him!” Homer laughs. “What
goes around comes around.”
“Dad,
they’re gonna be pissed at you!” Bart says.
“Son,
there’s something about Nazis you don’t understand.” Homer turns
his head to the backseat to Bart. “It’s like their job to be
pissed!” Homer and Bart laugh.
Lisa
is obviously getting nervous at the fact that Homer isn’t watching
the road. She is clutching tightly to the seats. “Da, watch the
road!!” She yells.
“Geez,
Lisa. Calm down, I’m not stupid, I drive like this all the time! Look
I’m doing fine.” Homer chuckles.
“Really?”
Bart points to a stop sign they’re about to hit.
Homer
shrieks and grabs the wheel. He nearly misses the sign. He sighs.
“See, Lisa, everything’s fine.” Marge groans.
I
just want to say thanks to Depthmon who corrected me on the Malibu
Stacy thing. Originally I had Barbie Museum. But it was Malibu Stacy.
Thanks again!