Simpsons Porn Story: Issues with an 8th grade spiky kid Chapter 1

Issues
with an 8th
grade spike kid

Year:
2011

Chapter
1: Mall drama

Come
on Bart, this is ridiculous. Said Lisa Simpson, rolling her eyes.

It
was Wednesday, July 4th,
almost independence day. Bart and Lisa were at the mall.

Look
Lisa, I have to get one someday, and todays the day. Explained
Bart.

He
was looking for a new
girlfriend,
and it wasnt going good.

Okay
fine, but just because Im smart, remember smart.

Yeah,
yeah, smart, so was I, at one point.

Just
come on.

So
Lisa took Bart inside, there were lots of people, and lots of girls.

Perfect.
Bart thought, Now
I have a selection.

So
see anyone you like? Lisa asked.

Bart
looked around and saw many girls that he thought were good for him.

Well,
lets find out.

10
seconds later

Slap!
You
idiot, dont talk to me again! One of the girls yelled.

Okay
that didnt work ouch! Bart squeaked. Ill just try
another.

Slap!

Slap!

After
30 tries

Slap!

Well
Bart, thats all of them, lets just go home, and get that red
cheek some ice. Lisa offered.

Uhhh,
make it so!

Chapter
2: Bart gets help

Bart
was in his bed, stressed and with ice on his left cheek. It was noon,
and he still didnt have a girlfriend.

Man
I hate my life; Frink was right when he said I would meet true love 1
minute before I die. Bart
thought in agony.

Just
then Homer walked by.

Hey
boy, how are you? He said with happiness in his voice.

Terrible,
I could never get a girlfriend, ever. So just leave me alone.

Homer
frowned. Well boy, why dont I help, I met Marge and hey look
how I turned out!

Bart
turned to face Homer and gave a glare. Oh
yeah, He
thought. You
turned out to be a big fat, drunk, hairless, b.

Tell
you what, why dont I help? Homer suggested.

Well
okay, I could use some help. Bart said.

Then
its settled, Bart, come with me to Moes, and Ill give you
the low down.

Homer
walked with Bart to the bar, and they had a talk.

As
they walked in, Homer summed it up.

So
youre looking for the perfect girl, but cant seem to get one
because everybody thinks youre a dork.

Well
yeah pretty much.

As
they sat down, Moe walked over.

Hey
Homer, Bart what seems to be the matter? Moe asked.

Oh
hes sad, cause he cant get a girlfriend. Homer explained.

Well
Bart, youve come to the right place, we have all the answers.
Moe assured.

Really,
cause I need help fast. Bart said.

Just
then Barney ran up to them.

Hey
Bart! Barney called, I just over heard your conversation, and
you remember how my girl thinks Im not cool?

Yeah,
so?

So,
I bought this book on how to impress ladies, and I thought it might
help you, and me.

Homer
popped his memory.

Hey,
this gives me an idea! Bart, youre going to get help from the top
down.

Okay,
cool. Bart said This should be good.

Chapter
3: Problems and Solutions

Bart,
Homer, Moe, and Barney stroll through the city. Moe knew a place Bart
can go where he could get the info he needed.

To
Barts surprise it wasnt what he expected. The gift shop?

Yep,
this is where I go for all my problems. Moe explained.

Uh,
are you

Come
on Bart, Homer said, trust us, we know everything.

Okay
fine.

So
they went in. It was a awfully big place. There were shirts, hats,
plates, cups, and basically anything you can imagine.

Running
the register was a man with an eye patch.

Well,
Moe, what will it be this time? he said.

Oh
its not me; this boy needs help getting a girlfriend. Moe
explained.

Oh
okay, well boy, you came to the right place, what you need is some
style.

Style?

Style!

Bart
was confused, Okay?

Come
with us into the back room.

Well,
whoa!

Bart
was pulled into the back room.

3
minutes later

Okay
everybody, hes ready!

Bart
came out, with a totally different wardrobe. He had sunglasses, a
shirt with checkered patterns, shorts, and high shoes.

Um
this stuff is a little tight.

Thats
okay boy. Homer said You just have to get used to it. Thats
all.

Barney
walked up, Now lets try it out.

They
pushed Bart out of the store and he walked down the street.

As
he crossed he saw a girl, one that he liked.

This
better work. Bart
thought.

So
he ran up to her.

Um
hi, Im Bart; uh youre… uh, beautiful.

She
looked at his clothes and said, Uh, nice clothes dude, whered
you get them the gift
shop? She
laughed and pointed at him. Hey everyone, look a hippie came back
from the 70s!

Everybody
laughed at Bart, and he ran back to the store.

Well
Bart how was it? Homer asked.

Bart
was now very aggravated.

How
was it? HOW WAS IT! Why the heck would you ask that? I was laughed
at!

Well
I thought,

No,
no you didnt, you lied to me dad! I HATE YOU!

Bart
ran away from them. Homer was left speechless.

I
just wanted to help.

Chapter
4: Its a happy ending after all

It
was 9:00 and the fireworks of the 4th
of July were out and about.

Bart
was sitting under a tree, he was crying. Something he would never do
unless it was serious.

Maybe
it was never meant to be? Bart asked himself.

Just
then the girl who laughed at Bart walked up to him.

Um
hi, are you okay? She asked.

Bart
looked at her and recognized her. I know you, go away!

Look
Im sorry I laughed at you, I just didnt know who you were.

Well
you were wait, you didnt know me?

Yeah,
your Bart Simpson
right,
oh I loved your story, my
life as a poisonous snake. It
was really good.

Uh,
thanks.

Um,
do you want to go out with me?

Bart
was shocked, but hid it because he didnt want to ruin this
opportunity.

Sure,
you know youre really nice.

You
too.

So
Bart finally got the girl of his dreams, and on Independence Day, it
couldnt be greater.

The
end

How
was that story, I had to finish it on the 4th
of July, cause of the theme. Let me know how it was. HOH