Simpsons Porn Story: Stories of Milhouse and Hopefully Lisa Chapter 1

Stories
of Milhouse and (Hopefully) Lisa

Warning:
There will be a severe case of OOCness and canon flaws in this fic.
It was all due to the authors lack of knowledge regarding all 400
episodes of The Simpsons. The author was really sorry.

The
Dictionary Didnt Wear Tennis Shoes

Bart
Simpson had nothing to do. Even the best prankster can only do so
much jokes, pranks, and wedgies in one day. So he wandered around the
neighborhood, occasionally laugh at his neighbors zany antics.

He
found Milhouse Van Houten, one of his best (as in easily used)
friend was focusing on a really thick dictionary. The dictionary was
titled, Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary Deluxe for 999th
Reading Level.

What
are you doing with that dictionary, Milhouse?

Milhouse
looked at his best friend. Lisa liked people who memorized every
definition of every word in a dictionary, right? So I tried to
memorize everything. And I am proud to say that I remembered most of
these!

Bart
took the dictionary and opened a page. So what is the definition
of definition?

Milhouse
opened his mouth, but no sound was spoken. His eyes moved to left and
right, trying to remember. Five minutes passed and he still didnt
say anything. Bart sighed, and opened another page.

3.499.999
more words to go, Milhouse.

Paint
Your Pick-Up Lines

Milhouse
looked at his parents. They were once divorced, to which he was
delighted, but recently they get back together. He liked it when they
were divorced, so he tried to separate them again. After an
unfortunate incident involving stupid acts such as jumping from a
bridge, he turned it down. Still, he wondered how come after such
fierce disagreement before they were divorced, they got back
together.

How
come you first dated each other anyway? asked Milhouse to his
parents. Kirk and Luann simply smiled.

Well,
I was really handsome at Junior High, and my pick-up lines were so
damn deadly-Luann cut Kirk and continued, still smiling,

-which
was you know Pandoras box, right? Youre like that, except
change all the emotions with beauty and then it was you. Just
dont change the hope.

Kirk
blushed at this, but Luann continued to smile. Milhouse frowned. Who
in their sane minds would use such a lame pick-up line?

The
fact was, your father was not in his sane mind. Hes madly in
love, said Luann. Just promise us never use it. A girl these
days would surely rolling on the floor laughing when you said such
pick-up line.

Oh,
believe me, Milhouse. Trend comes round someday, assured Kirk Van
Houten.

(Nine
Years Later)

You
know Pand-Pandoras Box, right? Y-y-youre like that, except
ch-change all the emotions with beauty and t-t-then it was you.
Just dont change the h-h-hope, said Milhouse, his body shivered
out of shame. Lisa blinked once, twice, before crossing her hands and
said,

You
realize that would mean all I have was inner beauty, I have no
emotions except reckless hope, and apparently I am locked from the
community, right?

Milhouse
looked left and right. He had no words to counter Lisas. Five
minutes passed, with silence beyond them. Suddenly Lisa smiled, and
took Milhouses hands. If you dont realize it, Ill be your
girlfriend until you did.

Milhouse
smiled awkwardly while walking together with Lisa to the college.

Painflip
360

Pain
was always part of Sprifieldians life. Everyday, a man or woman
will have his or her hands stuck on various things start from their
car door to paper shredder. Everyday, a man or woman, mostly man
though, will fall off from the cliff to the hard grounds below.
Everyday, a man or woman will have wrestling battles in either a bar
or a mall. Most battles went from simple arm wrestling to downright
mutiny. Everyday, 97 percent of every way to inflict pain was done on
Springfield. 95 percent of them belonged to Homer.

Milhouse
was not an exception. When the skateboard trend took over when he was
17, he couldnt help but to try. His instinct werent good enough
to know that the 900 was not in the beginner level, and his
bones werent good enough to sustain damage from falling from
three-level height. Combine those two and you got a poor, poor
Milhouse. He was hurt so much that he swore not to touch the
skateboard again forever when he was in a hospital ward.

When
Lisa visited and Marge told him that Lisa was very worried, however,
he retracted his swear.