Simpsons Porn Story: thesimpsons-lisathetimebomb

Lisa the Time
Bomb

“AH! What a beautiful morning!”

Lisa sits up
in her bed, ready to bring in the day…one of the most important
days of her life. As her eyes adjust to the morning sun beaming
through the window, she glances at her to-do list on the side of her
bed. 4 things are marked down, all in order. 1. Give a speech at the
MENSA luncheon. 2. Perform a Jazz Ballad for Tokyo representatives to
welcome them to Springfield. 3. Mail her academic application to
Princeton, so she can get in…and the last one, 4. The one that she
dreads doing the most.

“Oh, why did I have to schedule it
for today?” She asks herself.

“Because you’re a big
Brainiac with a big butt?” Lisa looks over to see her brother
standing in the doorway, Bart Simpson.

“Not now, Bart.”
She replies. “It’s gonna be a rough day today, and I have to
ready myself mentally so that I can give my speech soon.”

“You
mean the speech you’re supposed to give in 15 minutes?” Bart says
with a smirk, pointing at Lisa’s alarm clock. She notices the time
is 11:45am, and she’s gotta be on the other side of town in 14
minutes & 51 seconds.

“GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU’RE
RIGHT!” She screams, hoping out of bed & running to her closet
to get her clothes. “BART! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP???”

“And
miss the fun of you scrambling around like a crazy person?” He
says. “Do you even know me?”

Lisa growls and clenches her
fist, wanting to strangle Bart much like Homer does on a daily basis.
But she doesn’t have the time. Anticipating her possible lateness,
she grabs her red blouse and puts it on, then goes for her Khaki
Capri pants. She finishes dressing by putting on her red sandals.
Grabbing her purse off of her nightstand, she dashes out of her room,
bowling over Bart along the way. As she turns the corner and dashes
down the stairs, she sees her mother, Marge, waiting with a sheet of
paper.

“Here’s your speech, dear!” Marge says, also
anticipating Lisa would be in a rush.

“Thanks, mom!” Lisa
answers, grabbing the sheet and still going at full speed. But her
momentum stops once she opens the front door and notices that not
one, but both of the family cars are out of the garage.
“GAAAAAAAAHH!!! Where are the cars?”

“Oh, sorry Lisa.”
Marge says. “But your father needed the Sedan to get to the Nuclear
Plant.”

“And the Station Wagon?” Lisa inquires.

“It
hasn’t been found since your father tries to jump over Springfield
Gorge with it.” Marge tells her. Immediately, Lisa begins to panic.
Frustration & stress build up inside of her. So much so that a
small ticking can be heard in her head, almost like it’s signaling
a countdown to when she could lose it. But she keeps it together, at
least long enough to see Otto driving down the street in his School
Bus. She flags him down and gets him to stop.

“OTTO! I need
you to drop me off at the Springfield MENSA Club. PLEASE!” She
pleads.

“Well, I was just gonna pop wheelies at the Bus Lot
but, Come on little Dudette!” He says, inviting her on. He then
straps on his seatbelt and grabs the stick shift, causing Lisa to
question this decision.

“I wonder if it was the right call
to ask Otto…AAAACCKKKK!!!!!!” She’s sent to the floor as Otto
floors it. The Bus burns rubber down the road, doing speeds that
would make NASCAR drivers wet themselves. Lisa pulls herself up off
the floor and hops into the nearest seat. She buckles her seatbelt,
now remembering just how dangerous Otto’s driving can be. Within 2
minutes, they’re now in Downtown Springfield…and causing panic in
the streets.

“WHOA! Who knew Downtown Springfield was so
crowded before Lunch?” Otto asks, maneuvering around cars &
pedestrians alike. Lisa’s rage has now been subsided, and is
replaced by blinding fear. Which only rises when she notices the
bridge they’re approaching is up.

“OTTO! LOOK OUT!!!”
She screams.

“Don’t worry, little Dudette!” He says.
“Time to put the pedal to the metal!” And that’s exactly what
he does, going full speed. The Bus banks onto the bridge like a ramp
and flies off like a skateboard. As it soars through the wild blue
yonder, Lisa nervously looks out of the window. She can see the
entire town, even her house. She then notices the Springfield MENSA
Club, where she needs to be…and where Otto is about to land.
Luckily, the wind blows hard enough to stop them short, and the Bus
lands & tumbles, coming to a stop at the front door of the club.
A moment later, Springfield High’s Principal Seymour Skinner and
Lindsey Naegle rush out through the doors to see Lisa stumbling off
the Bus.

“What in the name of Hans Moleman is going on?”
Skinner asks.

“I…made it, Principal Skinner.” Lisa says,
still feeling dazed from the crash. “With…two minutes…to
spare.”

“Yes, I agree. You are very prompt.” He agrees.
“But…”

“Oh forget it, Skinner.” Lindsey says. “She’s
here, so lets just start this speech!”

The two escort Lisa
into the building and into the main hall, where dozens of MENSA
members are sitting, waiting to hear her speech. Even Steven Hawking
(the world’s smartest man) is in attendance, sitting front row.
Lisa steps onto the stage and approaches the podium. She straightens
herself up and clears her throat, ready to address everyone.

“My
fellow MENSA members, it is an honor to address you on this day.”
She starts off. “As you know, I have several theories I would like
to inform you about, but first I would like to start off with a
little poem I remember from my Childhood. It goes…Lisa is a Nut,
she has a rubber butt. Everytime she eats some beans it goes putt,
putt?”

It’s at this moment that she recognizes that the
paper doesn’t have her handwriting, but the handwriting of another
Simpson. “BAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!!!”

The audience
begins to dispute Lisa’s speech, at least until Steven Hawking
speaks out. “I believe there is some merit to the young woman’s
pronouncement.” He says. “Certain attributes in the Human
Buttocks could lead us to discover that it may have some traits of
rubber.”

“Oh come on, Hawking.” Dr. Hibbert interrupts.
“Now being a Physician nearly most of my life, I can clearly say
that there are no traits of rubber in the Human Butt!”

“Oh
yeah?” Hawking replies. “Your Mama!”

THWACK!!!

A
sucker punch by Dr. Hibbert sparks an all-out riot in the room, and
shocks Lisa. Every intellect in Springfield is now going at it like
wild dogs, without mercy. And even above all of the battlecries &
loud cursing, one voice is heard standing out.

“OOOIEEE, MY
GLAYVIN!!! WHY WOULD THEY HIT ME IN THE GLAYVIN???!!!”

Not
wanting to take the chance that Lisa gets caught in the middle,
Lindsey & Seymour huddle around her and lead her back out towards
the exit.

“This is the Arbor Day Picnic all over again.”
Seymour says, shaking his head in shame. All the while, the ticking
appears back in Lisa’s head, as she struggles to keep her sanity in
the sea of intellectual madness.

2 Hours Later…

After
getting a much safer ride from Skinner, Lisa finds herself at the
Springfield Multicultural Center, where she is set for her next task
of the day. Inside, 4 Tokyo representatives await a special Jazz
concert to be put on by Lisa & several members of her school
band. But Lisa is without her Saxophone, and she waits outside for it
to be delivered, the ticking in her head starting to get
louder.

“Where are you, Dad?” She says to herself. “I
only have 5 minutes.”

Clearly she didn’t want to rely on
her father to come through, but she had no choice. With Marge taking
Maggie to her Little League game, and Bart even less trustworthy,
Homer was the only “logical” choice. And her faith comes through,
as she spots a light purple Sedan barreling down the road. It comes
to a screeching halt right in front of Lisa, as the Driver door
swings open. A moment later, Homer steps to greet his
daughter.

“Daddy made it, Honey!” He says, walking around
to the rear of the car. “And he remembered to bring your
Saxamophone!”

He pops open the trunk and sure enough, Lisa’s
Saxophone case is inside. She grabs it at opens it up, to see her
Saxophone still intact. Luck is on her side. She hugs her father,
grateful that he got her. “Oh thank you, Dad.” She says. “But
how did you get here so quick?”

“Well, I did have to
sacrifice a 126-pack of Duff to lighten the load.” He tells her.
“Your father just wasn’t able to win a game of Rock, Paper,
Scissors. Barney got Rock and I got Paper, so he crushed me.”

“Uh,
Dad?” Lisa says, enlightening him. “Paper covers Rock. You were
supposed to win.” At that moment, Barney drives back in a beat-up
sedan, flaunting his victory & drunk as ever.

“Thanks
for the win, Homer! BURRRRRRP!“

“D’OH!!!” Homer
yells as Barney continues on. “Uh, gotta go honey. Good luck with
your Hockey Game!”

“It’s a Concert!” She tells him,
but he doesn’t listen. Instead, Homer hops back into his Sedan and
pulls off after Barney.

“You gimme them beers back, you
cheating Jerk!” He yells, shaking his fist out of his car window.
Lisa just shakes her head and walks into the Center, ready to give
her performance. Once she reaches the main hall area, she sees her
friends Janey, Sherri & Terri, Alison, and Alex waiting for her
on stage, along with the Mayor of Springfield, Mayor Quimby.

“I
would like to thank our Tokyo representatives for joining us today.”
Quimby says, as Lisa joins her friends. “And er uh now for your
enjoyment…I present the Jazz Toleraters! Vote Quimby.”

“Alright,
I’m here.” Lisa says, reaching into her case and pulling out the
sheet music. “Sorry I’m late, but now we can wow them with our…OH
NO!!!” She looks down at the sheets to see that they’re not the
classical Jazz Ballads she wanted Homer to get for her. Instead,
they’re hits from the 80’s. Lisa begins to panic.

“Lisa,
are you OK?” Janey asks.

The ticking in Lisa’s head gets
even louder, but her determination won’t let her give in.
“I’m…fine.” Lisa answers with a twitch. “We’ll start the
opening number with this.” She hands out the sheets to her friends
so they can read. The choice of song surprises them, though.

“She
Works Hard for the Money?” Sherri asks.

“Let’s just play
it and get it over with!” Lisa says through her teeth, getting
angrier by the moment. They take their standing positions and proceed
to play the song. Lisa puts her anger to good use and plays her heart
out, pouring everything into her Saxophone in a heart-filled effort.
Unfortunately, the song only infuriates the Tokyo Representatives,
who stand up and approach the stage.

“How DARE you play this
song!” One of them says. “You dishonor us by bringing this…music
to our ears. From this day forward, Tokyo will only be a sister city
to Shelbyville!”

With that, the Representatives storm out of
the room, followed by a whimpering & pleading Mayor Quimby. Lisa
just stands there in shock. Nothing has gone her way today, and she’s
about ready to break down at that very moment…and the ticking gets
louder. Distraught, she walks off of the stage, dragging her
Saxophone behind her, and leaves the room. Walking out of the
building, she sits down on the curb and sulks, feeling her life
falling apart. And it doesn’t help that Bart is rolling down the
sidewalk on his Skateboard towards her.

“What up, smelly
butt?” He says, being his usual insulting self.

“Not now,
Bart!” She says, still upset. “The biggest day of my life is
falling apart! I caused a riot at MENSA & I insulted Tokyo
Representatives! What else could go wrong?”

“Well if you
don’t wanna know, don’t look up.” Bart tells her. But Lisa
decides to look up anyway, and gets a reminder of what the rest of
the day has to hold for her.

“Hiya Lisa!” It’s Milhouse,
driving in a Used Car from his father’s old Used Car Lot. Lisa
begins to shudder, almost like Sideshow Bob, as she remembers that a
Date with Milhouse is imminent, and unavoidable.

Later that
night…

Lisa is now in the passenger’s seat of Milhouse’s
new ride, as they drive towards the Springfield Drive-In. After a
quick trip home, she changed into a bright red sweater with matching
skirt, going for a Velma look that would make her unattractive to
Milhouse. It didn’t work. Normally she would never agree to a date
with Milhouse, but he’s one of the main reasons she was able to get
her foot in the door at Princeton. His cousin is a Professor there,
and his recommendation set her on the right track. But as part of the
deal, Lisa would have to agree to go on a date with Milhouse, anytime
& anyplace he wanted. The deal was made 4 years ago…and
Milhouse has never forgotten.

“And here we are, Lisa.” He
says, pulling into the Drive-In entrance. Stopping at the pay booth,
he gives the attendant a $20 and rolls in. The movie they’re seeing
tonight is ‘Bloody Mutilation 6: The Bloodier the Better’.

“Great,
he must be hoping I get scared and cuddle with him.” Lisa
thinks. “Bart must’ve given him the idea.”

“This
is such a great idea Bart gave me!” Milhouse thinks.

As
they pull into their parking spot, the previews have just ended. The
opening credits begin to roll, and even the words that scroll across
the screen are bloodied & butchered by an axe. Lisa is wearing a
look of boredom on her face, as she watches the movie, pointing out
obvious fake parts.

“The suit is fake.” She says,
referring to one of the monsters. “And that is CGI.”

Milhouse
isn’t focused on the movie, though. Instead, he looks around him at
the many cars in the Drive-In. Most of them are rocking wildly, with
their windows fogged up. Milhouse knows what’s going on in those
cars, and he wants it to happen in this one. But as he gingerly tries
to put his arm around Lisa’s shoulder…

“Remember the
deal, Milhouse.” She says, not even turning to look at him. The
deal, he remembers. The only condition that Lisa would go on a date
with him is that he didn’t try any touching or feeling. So his arm
goes back, not wanting this date to end quickly. Lisa, however,
wishes for just that. Everything has gone wrong for her today, and
she just wants to get her applications mailed off before something
happens to them. But as soon as she thinks that, her Cell Phone goes
off. A sense of dread fills her, and the ticking in her head becomes
louder as she answers.

“Hello?”

“STUPID
MONKEYS!!!”

She can tell her father’s voice is on the
other line, but gets the feeling that he’s not the one who called.
Her suspicion is confirmed when she hears her mother’s voice.
“Lisa, I don’t mean to call you on your date but…there’s a
slight problem.”

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Lisa
asks.

“Well, you remember that Fish Packing business your
father started?” Marge says, and Lisa remembers it very well.
It’s Homer’s 75th job. “Well, we ran out of wrapping paper
and…your father accidentally used your applications.”

“THAT’S
IT, You monkeys are in for it now!” Homer says on the other end
sounding serious. But things quickly don’t go his way.
“AAAAHHHH!!!!! THE MONKEYS ARE THROWING POO!!!”

“NOO!!
NOT ON THE GOOD CHINA!!!” Marge yells, before the phone
conversation ends. Lisa slowly pulls the phone away from her ear, as
a look of horror fills her face. Nothing in the movie could scare her
more than what she just heard. The one thing that assured her getting
into Princeton was now destroyed…thanks to her father.

“My…my
entire work…” She says in disbelief, as the ticking in her head
now becomes so loud, it’s deafening. TICK! TICK! TICK! Almost like
a clock, or a Timebomb, counting down to the dreadful moment when
everything becomes lost. It continues in her head, like a giant drum
being pounded relentlessly. Or loud banging on a door, the same one
holding back all of the stress & frustration from the day. From
her entire life even. And just when she thinks the Ticking can’t
get any louder…

BOOM!

The feeling of horror fades,
and a far away look now resides on Lisa’s face. She drops the phone
onto her lap and stares blankly out in front of her, not really
focused on anything. This begins to worry Milhouse, who’s been
watching her ever since she took the phone call.

“Lisa, is
everything OK?” He asks. “Do you need to go home?”

Slowly,
she turns her head towards Milhouse, who becomes more concerned with
her. What happens next, couldn’t be predicted by even the most
skilled Psychiatrists. A small grin appears on her face, and slowly
begins to grow. Within moments, Milhouse watches as Lisa develops a
look of seduction, aimed right at him.

“Lisa, are you
OK?”

“Never better.”

Before Milhouse can even
blink, Lisa springs forward and kisses him, the first kiss for either
of them. She starts climbing out of her seat and onto Milhouse,
burying her face into his. Moans of passion emerge from her mouth as
she straddles Milhouse in the driver’s seat. After a full minute of
lip locking, Milhouse has to push her away just to catch his
breath.

“LISA!!” He says, in total shock of this
situation. “Wha…what are you doing? What about the deal?”

“Screw
the Deal!” She replies. “And Screw Me!” She continues with the
makeout session, wrapping her arms around Milhouse to keep him close.
It’s really unnecessary though, because Milhouse would die a
thousand deaths before stopping this moment. He can feel Lisa
grinding herself against him. Whatever happened to her, whatever was
said on the phone that turned her into this, Milhouse is thinking
just one thing.

“MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!”

Lisa
continues to press forward; so much that Milhouse can feel her
hardening nipples through their clothes on his chest. Eventually, the
car seat gives way & Milhouse is put on his back, with Lisa on
top of him (another dream of his). Lisa breaks the kiss and looks
down at him.

“Let’s take this action to the backseat.”
She suggests.

Those words cause Milhouse to scramble to the
back, with Lisa chasing right after him. She roughly starts to pry
off his pants, ripping the belt and pulling them down, along with his
boxers to reveal his hardening Cock. Without hesitation, she engulfs
it into her mouth, not caring how big it is (larger than advertised
for Milhouse). Her loud slurps & sucks fill up the car, and
nearly give Milhouse a heart attack.

“Oh, man! Lisa’s a
pro at this.” He thinks. “She must’ve had practice with
cucumbers or something.”

Milhouse is closer to the truth
than he knows. Lisa has practiced on cucumbers, thanks to a Truth or
Dare game at a sleepover several months back. She keeps both hands on
his crotch, gripping his pipe with one hand & holding his balls
with the other. Her head movements are hurried, as she doesn’t
waste time with going slow. Soon, Milhouse begins to feel a tingling
sensation. He’s masturbated enough times to know what it is, and
tries to warn Lisa.

“Lisa…if you don’t stop…I’m
gonna cum…in your…”

Unfortunately, he can’t finish the
sentence in time. Lisa’s tongue work unleashes a stream of semen
that shoots straight into her mouth. She stops her movement, and
Milhouse begins fearing for the worst. He believes he ruined the
moment, but is proven wrong when Lisa swallows his load in one
gulp.

“L-L-Lisa…did you just…” Milhouse gets his
answer when she sits up and nods her head yes.

“And I want
more.”

Hiking up her red skirt, she pulls of her white
cotton panties and tosses them in the front seat. She then climbs
back on top of Milhouse, wrapping her legs around him as he positions
his stiff Rod for entry. Once in position, Milhouse begins to have
second thoughts about this.

“Hey, L-Lisa.” He says,
feeling nervous. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He
gets his response when she kisses him, running her tongue into his
mouth. It’s more than enough motivation for him to push on through,
as he moves forward and pushes his pipe through her love lips, and
deep inside of her.

“OH, YEAH! THAT’S IT!!!” She says,
reveling in the pleasure.

“HOLY CRAP, I’m…I’m
inside of Lisa!” Milhouse thinks, realizing his one true dream
is now reality. The entire moment is almost too much for him to
handle. “I…I think…I’m gonna pass out.”

Lisa
notices him starting to waver, and urges him to continue. “No,
Milhouse. Stay awake.” She tells him, turning his head to hers to
that their eyes meet. “I want you to fuck me. Give it to me, as
hard as you can.” She presses her lips to his again, as he legs
tighten around him. Milhouse does as instructed and works up a slow
stroke, pulling in & out of her at a steady rate. Breaking the
kiss, Milhouse’s focus is directed lower. He pulls up her sweater,
surprisingly revealing no bra, and bare yellow round breasts. He
wraps his mouth around her nipples, as Lisa begins to ride his Cock.
After minutes of sucking, he removes his mouth from her
bosom.

“Lisa, this is like a dream come true.” Milhouse
declares, wrapping his arms around her hips. “For years I’ve
dreamed of this moment, and I…”

“Just shut up & Fuck
me, Milhouse.” She orders, wanting more. Milhouse is eager to
please, and rolls over so that Lisa is on her back. He begins
drilling into her with all of his might, making her moan out with
each thrust. He holds up her legs, clearing a way to her snatch as he
drills her balls deep. The entire rent-a-car is now rocking back &
forth, and the windows are so fogged up, nothing is visible outside.
Even Milhouse’s glasses are foggy, which doesn’t go unnoticed by
Lisa. She reaches up and takes them off, looking at his true eyes.
The car is now turning into a makeshift sauna, with both of them
pouring down sweat. Milhouse continues to pound her pussy for minutes
on end, what seems like an eternity for the two, until he feels the
same tingling as he did earlier. Lisa starts feeling herself
approaching her limit also.

“Oh! OH! OH YEAH…OH BUDDHA I’M
GONNA…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

She
experiences her first orgasm ever, and it’s a doozy. A moment later
Milhouse experiences his. He pulls out of her and sprays his load in
between her legs & her thighs. Exhausted from the impromptu
sex-fest, he falls down beside Lisa, who rolls over and wraps her arm
around them. The movie outside has just gone off, but neither of them
care at the moment. And they’re too tired to even notice, as the
drift off to sleep.

The Next
Morning…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Lisa
wakes from her slumber in a cold sweat, only to find herself back in
her room, in her own bed. It takes a moment, but all of the events
from yesterday come flooding back into her mind. “The…the
concert. The MENSA meeting. My applications! All of it…” The
anger also comes flooding back, and it doesn’t help that her
brother is the first one to greet her.

“GOOOOOD MORNING,
BRAINIAC!!!” He says, walking into her
room.

“BAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!” She leaps out
of bed & begins to choke him mercilessly, just like her father.
Bart responds in kind, choking his sister to get her to stop. She
finally does when she realizes it will do no good anyway.

“Oh
what’s the point?” She says, ready to break into tears. “My
life is ruined! Everything is over! I’m going to end up having a
dead-end job at the Krusty Burger. Or worse, I’ll get a scholarship
to Indiana University!”

“Geez, mellow much?” Bart says,
being sarcastic as he sits on the bed beside her. “I wouldn’t say
your whole life is ruined, Lees.”

“What are you talking
about?” Lisa counters. “I caused a riot at MENSA!”

“Lisa,
that’s a weekly occurrence.” Bart tells her. “Remember when
Comic Book Guy argued with Professor Frink over who was stronger,
Radioactive Man or the Hulk?”

Lisa remembers. That riot
spilled out into half the town. 18 people were injured. “But…I
insulted the Tokyo representatives!”

“Funny story.” Bart
says. “They called back here earlier to apologize. They thought you
were playing a Diana Ross song. For some reason, the Japanese really
hate her.”

“Yeah, but…I…I…” She leans over to Bart
& whispers it in his ear, wanting to make sure no one else hears
what she about to say. “I had sex with Milhouse.”

“HAW-HAW!!!”
The two turn to the window to see Nelson sitting on a branch outside,
listening to the conversation. “You had sex with another Nerd!”
Lisa groans, knowing that her secret will now spread wider that
Nelson knows. Nelson jumps down and leaves the brother & sister
to themselves.

“I mean I practically raped him.” She
continues. “I was domineering and bossy, telling him what to do. He
must be scarred for life!”

“Lisa, repeat what you just
said.” Bart tells her.

“What? I practically raped
Milhouse.”

“Again.”

“I practically raped…”
She stops, finally realizing what she just said. “Oh my god. I
probably fulfilled his biggest fantasy.”

“Bingo!” Bart
says. “Besides, he told me about it when her brought you home late
last night.”

“He brought me home?” Lisa asks.

“Yep.
Even undressed you and put you in bed.” Bart says. “That was
before he stayed up all night rewriting your applications to
Princeton.”

Lisa is taken aback by what Bart just told her.
“Milhouse? Did all that for me?”

“DUH! He’s got a
crush on you, Dork-zilla!” Bart reiterates, which causes Lisa to
rethink her situation. Maybe she’s not as bad off as she
thought.

“I gotta go over there & thank him!” She
says, standing up off of her bed. Bart gets up after her and walks
over to the door, but not before asking Lisa one last question.

“Oh
yeah, that reminds me. Mind if I bum 20 bucks off of you?” Lisa
gives him the answer by slamming her bedroom door in his face.

15
Minutes Later…

DING-DONG!

Lisa rings the doorbell and
waits outside of the Van Houten home, wearing a more modern version
of her classic red sundress. It takes several moments, but the door
finally opens to reveal a sleepy Milhouse still in his pajamas.
Though once he lays eyes on her, he quickly peps up.

“LISA!
YOU’RE HERE!” He says. “Wait, let me just make sure my father’s
not home and…”

“Wait Milhouse.” She says, stopping
him. “That’s…what we gotta talk about. First, thank you for
bringing me home. And rewriting my College applications.”

“No
problem!” He says. “I would…”

Lisa puts her hand up,
silencing him, and continues. “Look, last night I was under a lot
of stress, and I just needed someway to get rid of it. And I thank
you for helping me, Milhouse. But…I don’t want you to think that
it’s something when it’s not. I can’t get into a relationship
right now. I mean it’ll be long distance. I’ll be all the way at
Princeton…and you’ll be here at Springfield Tech.”

“I
could transfer!” Milhouse debates. “Or, I could get an athletic
scholarship!” Lisa puts her hand on his shoulder know good &
well that the latter will never happen in this lifetime.

“Oh,
I understand.” He says feeling dejected. “At least I was a
one-night fling. It’s better than what my Therapist said I would
be.”

Milhouse is about to shut the door when Lisa stops him,
having another idea. “Wait. How about you and me…be Stress Sex
Buddies.”

“Huh?” Milhouse asks confused.

Lisa
explains. “Well, when I’m completely stressed out from life, I’ll
come over here and you can help me ‘relieve it’. Deal?”

“DEAL!”
Milhouse quickly agrees. “But…you’re the most calm person I
know. You never get stressed out.”

KRRASSHH!!!!

The
sound of broken glass fills the air. Instinctively, Lisa looks back
towards her house and sees her Vintage Malibu Stacey collection go
flying out of the window and hit the ground, breaking into pieces. A
moment later, Homer’s head peers out the window.

“Sorry,
Honey!” He yells to her. “Daddy was just trying to get rid of the
monkeys! AAAHHH!!! THEY’RE THROWING POO AGAIN!!!”

“NOO!!!
NOT THE CRYSTAL VASE!!!” Marge yells from inside. And like that,
the ticking begins in Lisa’s head again. But instead of trying to
hold back her stress & rage, she decides to release it…all on
Milhouse.

“I’m gonna ride you hard & put you away
wet!” She tells him seductively, before pouncing on top of him and
slamming the door shut. And the last words to come from
Milhouse…

“MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED…AGAIN!!!”