Simpsons Porn Story: Enter Duffman Chapter 1

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Enter Duffman Chapter 1

A/N:
hackrcam wrote a parody song to bingo so I wrote one to enter
sandman. However his was kind of good mine kind of sucks

Say your
prayers fat one

Dont
forget, my oaf

To drink
every beer

Drink it
in, warm within

Keep you
free from Marge

Till the
duffman he comes

Drunk with
one eye open

Vomit on
your pillow tonight

Exit
Sanity

Enter
intoxicated

Dont
take my beer

Or your
going to visit never never land

Somethings
wrong, shut up Marge

Heavy beer
tonight

And they
arent of duff light

Drinks of
war, drinks of liars

Drinks of
dragons fire

And of
things that will paralyse.

Now I lay
me down to imbibe

Pray the
lord my soul to sober

If I die
before I wake

Lay the
lard in soil to drink

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Simpsons Porn Story: Just A Kiss Chapter 1

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Just A Kiss Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Im too lazy to make 400 episodes over a span of nineteen years.

Warnings: Kissing, swearing, Boy/Boy loven (if this offends you, please dont flame, it annoys me)

Well, heres my half assed attempt at some slashy Simpsons fanfiction. Its mostly practice, so I didnt put much effort into it. Hope you enjoy the horribly clichd plotline!

Chapter One: Innuendo

Welcome! Sherri and Terri opened the door to their party guests, inviting the hoard of cheering teenagers into their house. The rowdy boys and girls immediately attacked the snacks and began dancing to loud music.

Hello Ladies. Bart Simpson strode in through the front door, a hand in his pocket and a sway in his step. Nice shindig ya got here.

Milhouse has brought the FUUUNNK! Milhouse jumped up next to Bart, his middle and ring fingers folded down while the rest were held up rocker style.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Bartholomew Drunk Chapter 1

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Bartholomew Drunk Chapter 1

Ch. 1

None
of these characters are mine. Please R&R

Marge
was in front of the kitchen sink, cleaning the dishes. She grunted,
trying to get every piece of dirt and grease off of the frying pan
she was working on. Hmph, I knew we shouldve bought that
cooking set at the store, she said to herself.

Mom,
I got an A on my test! Lisa exclaimed, running into the kitchen.
Marge ignored her, focusing on the frying pan.

I swear, if this doesnt clean Marge trailed off.

Mom? Lisa questioned.

Marge continued to scrub, but to her dismay the pan still wasnt
sparkling clean.

Lisa
decided to give up, walking out disappointed. Bart laughed at her,
seeing she was ignored. The little girl glared at her brother and
headed up to her room, slamming her door shut.

Bart
snuck in the kitchen seeing this was the perfect time, as his mother
was occupied with her back turned. I wonder what beer tastes like,
he thought, opening the fridge. He spotted the six pack of duff
beer and wrestled one out. He chuckled, managing to get out of the
kitchen as Marge screamed in frustration and threw the pan down.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Kiss Me Chapter 5

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Kiss Me Chapter 5

I looked like a complete mess the next morning. I hadnt had Smithers to bathe me, dress me, comb what little hair I had left on my headI was a disaster. I didnt want Smithers to see me like that, but I had no choice. He came in early to pour my coffee, deliver my paper, and serve my breakfast: our beloved morning routine. You already have all these routines together, Monty. Its always been a romance waiting to happen. No, no. Stop those thoughts. Theyre wrong and unrequited. Remember that.

Here you go, sir, Smithers said in an unusually flat tone of voice, bordering on angry.

I cringed, thinking of the penultimate night. Smithers, II want to apologize for the other night. I dont know what got into me. She seemed like a perfectly nice girl. And a fit bird, that one. Yes.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Call of the Simpsonsyet again Chapter 2

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Call of the Simpsonsyet again Chapter 2

Chapter 2:
Welcome to Indian Rock

Its
been an hour since the Simpson family was on the road, and some of
them are losing it. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
there yet? Bart repeated a hundred times. NO!!!!! shouted
Homer, Marge, and Lisa. I was just asking. I cant help being so
impatient. Lisa how long from now will we get to this rock
place? Another hour, Lisa stated. But its just been
an hour already, Bart complained. Come to think of it, we
should have been there by now, Lisa replied. Homer, I think
weve been driving in circles, Marge said. Dont be silly
Marge, as man of the house, he never gets lost, Homer replies.
Dad we passed that oak tree with the face three times, Lisa
claimed. Bart added, Dont forget the bush that looks like Patty
LaBelle. Marge said to Homer, Homer, why dont admit that
were lost? We could just ask for directions. The man of the
house doesnt need directions! He can do anything, Homer said
with pride.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Issues with an 8th grade spiky kid Chapter 1

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Issues with an 8th grade spiky kid Chapter 1

Issues
with an 8th
grade spike kid

Year:
2011

Chapter
1: Mall drama

Come
on Bart, this is ridiculous. Said Lisa Simpson, rolling her eyes.

It
was Wednesday, July 4th,
almost independence day. Bart and Lisa were at the mall.

Look
Lisa, I have to get one someday, and todays the day. Explained
Bart.

He
was looking for a new
girlfriend,
and it wasnt going good.

Okay
fine, but just because Im smart, remember smart.

Yeah,
yeah, smart, so was I, at one point.

Just
come on.

So
Lisa took Bart inside, there were lots of people, and lots of girls.

Perfect.
Bart thought, Now
I have a selection.

So
see anyone you like? Lisa asked.

Bart
looked around and saw many girls that he thought were good for him.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Passing a test will just crash and burn Chapter 1

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Passing a test will just crash and burn Chapter 1

Passing
a test will just crash and burn

Year:
2011

Chapter
1: Lisa failed a test

It
was Monday, and Lisa was walking to her homeroom class. Today was a
very special day; the day of a big math test.

Okay,
todays the test, I must be focused, I must be ready, I must not
freak! Lisa said to herself.

She
entered the room and greeted the teacher.

Hello
Mrs. Smith! How are you? Lisa greeted.

Oh
just fine, Lisa, are you ready for your test?

Yes,
I truly am.

Good,
just take your seat and we will begin shortly.

Lisa
walked to her seat, seeing all her classmates ready and prepared,
just like her.

Okay,
I will pass this test. Id never fail!

30
minutes later

Okay
finished, now I have to take this to the teacher.

Lisa
walked up to the desk and handed her test to Mrs. Smith.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Purple Swirly Vortex Chapter 2

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Purple Swirly Vortex Chapter 2

Sorry if my chapters are short, I always forget my ideas.:P

Ahh! Rabid
squirrel! DONT KILL ME!!! In case youre wondering, the
mother of all rabid squirrels was chasing Homer. Why? Well, let me
refresh your memory

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh-! Homer screamed bloody murder, right until
he hit the ground. The vortex had transported him in front of a HUGE
castle, with a giant lake in front of it. This seems oddly
familiar, Homer thought. He was hungry, so he decided to look for
meat and beer. Well, thats what he would have done, if something
hadnt caught his eye

That something happened to be the squirrel. You see,
Homer was still dazed from his fall, and the squirrel appeared to him
in the form of a deep-fried Krusty Burger.

That also would explain why the sky was yellow but on with the
story. He tried to eat the squirrel, and that brings us back to the
present.

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Simpsons Porn Story: Purple Swirly Vortex Chapter 3

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: Purple Swirly Vortex Chapter 3

Sorry for not
updating I havent had many ideas. Thank you to booklover, for
putting this story on alert. It means a lot! As for reviews

1wilson1:Thank you
soooo much! Have a cookie!

Evil Riggs: Call me
ignorant, but I dont really get your review

0o0oLine Breako0o0

St. Gabriels
Orphanage was known for taking in poor children off the streets, so
when a little boy named Ralph Wiggum was brought in one day, it
didnt seem like such a big deal. The orphanage staff brought Ralph
to the Director so that he could learn his way around.

The Director was
tall, thin, and had a short temper. So the staff told Ralph that he
shouldnt make the Director angry. Sadly, Ralph was too busy
playing with his socks to hear the warning.

They hurriedly
deposited him in the Directors office, then left. None of them
wanted to be around if he blew his top.

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Simpsons Porn Story: A Poem About the Simpons Chapter 1

Posted on April 6, 2016 by rule34porn

Simpsons Porn Story: A Poem About the Simpons Chapter 1

A Poem About the Simpsons

By JennaWrites

This is my first entry, so please no flames. Here is a poem about the simpsons :). enjoy!

Note :I dont own the Simpsons

Silly family

Insane sometimes Marge is

Mysterious Maggie is

Pest Bart is

Smart Lisa is

Oaf Homer is

Not kidding

Simpsons

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